Yesterday afternoon I was running a little late. My boss and I discovered somebody's screwup, and it was up to us to clean it up.
I knew my wife had dinner in the oven. We'd spoken only about an hour before and I'd told her I'd be on my way soon. So, good and considerate husband that I am, I decided to call her again and let her know I'd be awhile. My daughter answered the phone (four and a half years old):
ME: Hi baby!
HER: Hi Daddy! I love you!!!
ME: I love you too!
HER: Can I have some chocolate time when you get home? You're workin', but when you get home and we eat dinner can I have some chocolate time?
(I inherited this routine from my grandfather - we have chocolate only as a reward after dinner when she's eaten her entire meal. And then we make this whole production where I ask her, "What time is it?" and she comes back with "IIIIIIIT'S CHOCOLATE TIME!!!!!!!)
ME: Sure sweetie, we'll see...
HER: You know it's goin' to be Kwismas someday? And then Halloween, and your birday, and mommy's birday, and my birday...
ME: Yes honey, I know. Can I speak with your Mommy please?
HER: And Easter, and then Valentine's...I wanna go swimming!
ME: We'll talk about it later, baby can you please...
HER: Can you take me to the park? Can we go to the park with the fire truck? Then we take Rocky to the puppy park and we go to McDonald's and get Chicky and Fra fries!
ME: Honey, your mother's making dinner...
HER: Can you get me a slurpy? Please???!!!
ME: Baby, we'll see. Can you get your mother...?
HER: Can we get a slushie at the baseball game? Can we? I wanna go to the awena and see Shaq attack! Please???!!!
ME: Christina! I have to speak with your mother! Please! Put her on!
HER: But I wanna tell you somethin'...
ME: Well, what is it? For crying out loud, I'm busy!
HER: I miss you Daddy...when you comin' home?
Man! Doesn't that just make you feel like an asshole?