Thursday, September 23, 2004

Coach of the Year!

Click here for mood music

I'm in a state of panic.

I'm coaching my daughter's Peewee Teeball team this season. Well, not really coaching. Assistant coaching. The coach conned me into it a few weeks ago. I figured, what the hell. Maybe it'll help my daughter feel more comfortable out there with all those boys.

We've only had three practice sessions, so far. Coach told us the first game would be a week after they gave out the uniforms.

Well, a couple of hours ago my wife phoned me. She said,"Sorry babe, I forgot to tell you Lisa (the coach's wife) called yesterday and said you were having practice today."
"Today?" I asked. "But we always practice on Fridays."
"You've got your first game tomorrow."
"Tomorrow??? Are you kidding? But, we don't have any uniforms!"
"They're handing them out today."
"But...but we're not ready!" I stammered. "We haven't even learned how to run the bases properly yet."
"She also said that they were going to need your help today, getting ready for the big game. Coach Larry can't make it."
"Whaaaat???" I yelled. "I don't know the first thing about coaching! I'm just there to help keep the kids from running off! How the hell am I going to get that pack (I meant to say team) of 4 and 5 year olds ready for a game?"
"Oh honey, I'm sure you'll do fine," she said, as we hung up. Leaving me disconcerted and apprehensive.

So, here's my chance to show my mettle. We'll see if I'm cut out to be a Lil' League Assistant Coach after all! Oh, the pressure...!

If you don't hear from me by tomorrow, send out a rescue party!


Anonymous said...

Mick, take a deep breath and relax. Make sure you are relaxed because kids can sense panic like sharks and blood! No, just kidding. Relax because this should be huge fun. One, your daughter's gonna think you're a hero because all the other kids are listening to her daddy. Two, teaching is fun. Pick one or two simple things, practice them once or twice and tell the kids that this is fun. Seriously, I envy you!


Sarah McBroden said...

Aww how cute! The thing to remember here is the other team won't have any more of a clue than your team. The best thing you can do is make it fun, kids that age don't give a damn if they win or not, they just want to play their best and make the coaches and their parents proud that they tried!

Amber said...

When my kids were that age and played soccer, we called it "Buzz Ball". Because they just ran after the ball in a tightly-knit pack and kicked wildly at everything and everyone.

Everything, that is, but the ball. Pretty much.

We parents would laugh ourselves sick (while not letting the kids see) and the coach would run after the kids pulling his hair out because they wouldn't listen to anything he said.

Basically, they just wanted the juice and snacks afterwards. That was the big draw for them.

You might want to keep that factoid in mind, Mick. When you're frustrated, just remember...all they really want is the snack party. *laughs*

SN said...

ok...if we need a rescue squad
i vote we put murphy in charge

Holly said...

You'll do just fine! The kids will have fun! And you'll wonder what you were ever so worried about! Enjoy - watching kids that age play t-ball is a hoot!