MIXBAG OF MUSINGS

I took the plunge. I'm meeting an attorney next week. A family law specialist. I just want to make sure I know the proper steps that need to be taken, and what hopes I have toward securing full custody of my daughter and my personal belongings. I have to admit I feel a little dishonest doing this; a little disloyal. To this moment Cindy has shown no inclination toward asking for custody of Christina for herself nor keeping the house. But I realize this could change overnight, especially since she's receiving infinitely wise counsel from all her divorced friends and newly acquired boyfriend (yes, a quick mover, isn't she?). So next Tuesday afternoon I find out what my cards are. It's going to be a long week...

Click here for mood music We went in to the office for a couple of hours - Christina labored away on her coloring book and I tried to get some work done - then drove home, put the ham in the oven (my first ham, y'all!), brought down several dozen boxes of Christmas decorations and plenty of cobwebs from the attic, and took the dogs for a holiday walk around the neighborhood. It was a lovely day in South Florida! The ham was delicious, the wine was fine, and the company was superb! The football wasn't too bad either. Before we dug into the food, we went around the table (both of us) and spoke aloud about the things we were grateful for. Christina finalized that portion of the afternoon with a moving remark that went, "And I'm thankful for my dear Daddy, who's pretty, and who I love so, so much!!!" It brought tears to my eyes. After lunch we hung the outdoor lights, then came inside and put our Christmas tree together. It looks terrific! Later there...

It always seems like I'm in the wrong business. I don't recall a single job I've had, where I was off for a holiday weekend. Had lunch with a friend of mine today. He's taking off with his girlfriend tomorrow evening, driving out to Orlando where he'll stay until Sunday at another friend's timeshare resort. How do all these people get so much time off? I'm going to be coming in on Thanksgiving, at least half a day, if things go well. I'll have my daughter with me. No day care service on Thanksgiving Day. No big deal really, we don't have any plans. We usually had everybody over to our house, but this year things are different. My sister's out of town, but I'm still puzzled that we didn't get any invitations from anyone. Not that I feel like going anywhere, but it would have been nice to be asked. I'm planning on buying a ham and putting up our Christmas decorations. Christina's been driving me crazy to do that, so she ...

Click here for mood music I get up earlier every morning now, trying to pack more activities into each day. There's more to do, and I've only myself to get it done. Once showered, I begin to wake my daughter up. I turn on the TV and put on cartoons, trying to get her attention. I shave. I wake her up again. It's a slow process. She can't understand why she has to get up and get dressed before sunrise. It may as well be the middle of the night. I get dressed and nag at Christina to put her clothes on. We pick her clothes out the day before, because she's so damn picky. Even so, she takes forever. Meanwhile, I let the dogs out. I set up Fluke's kennel cage, clean it up a little and add fresh food and water. I ended up buying the cage two weeks ago, when he ate half my couch after we were gone for only three hours. It's too hot to leave him outside. The cage has worked wonders. He even walks in voluntarily when I call him over. It's n...

Don't unreasonable clients drive you crazy? I've got this one client who blames everything that goes wrong with the world on us. She is convinced that we are somehow responsible for every agency, airline, terminal, government official, trucking company and natural disaster that has any form of contact with her cargo at any given time. It drives me nuts! We control her freight once it's here. Other than that, we've got nothing to do with it! But if for some reason, her agent in South America neglected to advise her that the shipment was delayed, or the airline it was flying on carelessly bumped her boxes off the booked flight, she expects that we (not the South American agency, and not the airline) inform her that there will be a delay. Give me a damn break! When there's a hurricane approaching, she expects us to keep her informed of its progress. Not the National Hurricane Center, no, that would be too simple, we've got to keep her informed. Why, w...

Now that my title is back up, I'd like to thank Mia and the folks down at Ciao! My Bella! for the wonderful new design on my blog. It's nice that somebody takes pity on those of us who are HTML challenged! And I can't begin to express enough appreciation for all the kind comments and emails I've received since my wife and I broke up. I never thought the blogging community could be so warm and caring. You've all been there for me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's made all the difference in the world. :-)

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna knock off twenty pounds, buy a treadmill, eat better, feel better, and find myself a new woman! Hell, I've given myself for so long to the same person that I'm not sure how I'm going to go about it. But they're there, they're out there...I'm sure if I open up my eyes a little and stare through the mist, I can find somebody pleasant enough. There's no reason why I should waste away in loneliness because my marriage went down the drain. Is there? I mean, obviously it's not that simple, I have my daughter to think of. But shouldn't I have more? Don't I deserve more? It comes down to confidence in the end. After a failed relationship, I can't help but feel undeserving of love and affection. Not entirely, no, I don't think I'm that awful. But I do have the nagging sensation that no matter what happens, if I get into another relationship, I'm going to fail again. Maybe it's because f...

Life is hard enough without these bastards lurking in the shadows. I have nothing but admiration and appreciation for law enforcement. Theirs is a thankless job that requires them to put their lives at risk daily, just to keep law and order. But those motor cops that sneak around barricades, hiding with a radar gun in their hands at carefully chosen spots where poor inadvertent drivers unwittingly exceed the speed limit - because it's always in a stretch where the posted speed limit is far below what it need be -I say OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!! While I'm driving, daily, I hold in my road rage and fight hard to keep myself from going postal on other drivers. These are the people who completely ignore yield and stop signs, right of way, left and right turn only lanes, double yellow lines, slow-traffic-keep-right PLEASE!, and are an endless source of frustration and aggravation. They cut into lines, delay the people who are patiently waiting their turn to cross, and often f...

To prove that I haven't lost all my sense of humor, here's a little something I received via email. Sorry, I don't know who to give credit for it. But it's too damn cute to pass up. The election is over, the results are now known. The will of the people has clearly been shown. We should show by our thoughts and our words and our deeds That unity is just what our country now needs. Let's all get together. Let bitterness pass. I'll hug your elephant. You kiss my ass.

Well, ain't life a bitch. On Sunday my wife moved out. I've got a million things to sort out right now, like daycare and such (my daughter's staying with me). It's all probably for the best, but I'm still looking at some emotional trauma in the coming weeks. I know I'm not that strong. Not sure if I'll be blogging much these days. Thanks for coming by.

Click here for mood music She proposed to me before I proposed to her. Kind of. We were trying to get her dad to co-sign my new electricity account, so I wouldn't have to put down a deposit. He was justifiably reluctant. "Honey, I don't think so," he told her. "Next month you guys break up and I'm left as a cosigner for some guy you used to date." "Dad," she told me she'd said, "I'm probably going to marry this guy." Well, this sort of put the brakes on her story. Marriage was not a subject we had addressed. Suddenly Cindy felt embarrassed. This was an obvious indiscretion. I fell silent and looked away, unwilling to fall for the bait. "Hey, I'm not trying to pressure you into anything," she said, "that wasn't my intention. It's just that I think we have something real here, don't you?" I fidgeted, stalled. "Sure, it's real, but lets not jump into anything here...

Click here for mood music I stumbled upon her picture recently, going through an old shoebox. It's faded now, and slightly yellowed. The years have passed and taken our luster with them. Her letters seem quaint now, and disjointed. Like they'd been written to somebody else. It had to be somebody else, because there's no way I could've done the things I remember doing back then. We were freshmen in high school then; we shared a class. Clara was her name. Alex, who was both her boyfriend and a buddy of mine, changed schools halfway through the year and left her as prey to hungry wolves. It's not that there weren't other pretty girls around, there were. But we always tend to covet our neighbor's wives, you know. There is something particularly enticing about romancing a woman whom you've secretly yearned for in the shadows. Clara was very attractive. She had a shapely figure, for a fifteen year old, and she walked like a woman; long,...

We're going all the way this year, baby!!! I've been waiting for this to come around for awhile. It's just what I needed to put that other silly contest to rest. Go Heat!!!

Well, I actually broke my vow (no politics on my blog) and wrote an extra long rant on the election. But when I hit publish, Blogger ate it up and now there's nothing left. It's just as well. I imagine some people might consider it offensive. Particularly since at some point I referred to the incumbent as a steaming pile of human excrement. But we'll survive. Hopefully there will be clear skies ahead and we can remove this ubiquitous election from our midst. Surely there must be more to write about. I hope all you republicans get what you hoped for. I can only expect you hoped for something good, or at least better than the last four years. I don't think we could handle another four years of the same.

Princess Christina

Didn't mean to disappear like that. Thanks for all your kind wishes and inquiries! As some of you may know, I had my parents over last week when I took some time off to get some home projects done. Well, they were staying in my spare room, which ordinarily doubles as my computer room. So there weren't any opportunities to blog or answer my email, even if I'd had the time. I've got lots to blog about, but I'll have to start tomorrow. Right now I'm still swamped with tons of backed up crap at work, and, well, though I'd rather be blogging, you can imagine which activity actually pays the bills! So, I'll be posting soon, with pictures and all. By the way, yesterday was my eleventh wedding anniversary, and I wanted to post something about that. I think I'll post one or two of our wedding pics.